Do these things right and you should be on track for a pretty good innings.
GQ has, for many years, been a pretty dependable place for men to turn for a little guidance on the great ride of life. Whether it be dressing well, taking care of themselves, or getting a little more cultured about what’s going on, broadly speaking—to live a better and more complete life, we’d like to think there’s someone here in the office who can impart a bit of wisdom on our readers.
Our office door isn’t metaphorically the revolving door it actually is, GQ has moved with the times. That’s because what a ‘man’ looks like in 2025, and the purported ‘rules’ they need to live by, has changed a lot over the years and is more multifaceted than ever before. Yes, that might be difficult to grasp for some, but it’s also more exciting than ever.
So what are the rules men should live by? They’re hardly rules. We’re not going to police you on them. Think of them as slivers of advice, passed on by the many men we’ve had the fortune of hearing from, sprinkled in with some tenets that should really apply no matter who you are. These are the things we believe will make you a more confident man, a more respected man, and a man that contributes positively to the world around them; making the world a better place for when you eventually leave it.
These, to us, are more timeless ways of living that should last you a long and fruitful life. We’ve taken advice from the men and women we’ve featured across years of Men Of The Year awards, rousing speeches delivered on what they feel it takes to be a man. And also more tangible things, things you just need to do.
Without further ado, and in zero order whatsoever, the 15 rules for men to live by.
1.Work on emotional strength as often and as hard as you would any muscle
“There’s strength in being vulnerable and understanding your emotions,” said 2024 Actor Of the Year Felix Mallard in his acceptance speech. As an actor, Mallard’s recent oeuvre has had a particular focus on mental health, seeing it on screen is helping to normalise the discussions around men’s mental health, but men need to put in the work as well. Just watching Arnold Schwarzenegger lift weights isn’t going to put the muscle on you, is it? Talk about how you’re feeling with others. Those are your reps. Getting comfortable talking about how you’re feeling is going to help you become more resilient, and will help your circles do the same. It’s a workout you’ll always feel good about.
2.Use your voice in the right ways
Stand up for what’s right. Being a man in today’s world is a privileged position, no matter how much misinformed media outlets might tell you that it’s under attack. Men are still afforded privileges many are still working for, so stand up for them. Call things out that are wrong. Listen to the people who don’t have a voice, and be their voice.
3. Work on your charm
Valerie Estrina, on her Substack, wrote a brilliant line: “social fitness gives way to social capital.” Be life’s personality hire, she says. We’re not saying forgo traditional qualifications, but it’s something worth taking on board. It’s not about necessarily being an extrovert, but rather working on getting the spark out of others. It’s not as easy as just being charming every day, but it’s in listening to others’ stories because you want to, it’s practising your conversing every day, it’s having something interesting to say. The charm will fall into place. And will take you much further than you think.
4. Confidence isn’t the same as ego
Like many things in life, it’s important to be balanced. Learn to be self-assured without inflating your ego. There’s a difference. Carry yourself with the knowledge that you can do things right, to a high standard, and deliver for others. Don’t mix it up by thinking you’re the only one that can do it. You’re not. Be proud of who you are, and be ready to learn about things. There’s a great saying: humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking about yourself less. Being humble doesn’t mean you can’t be confident.
5. Nurture your passions
Everyone is passionate about something. Nurture those passions. Do as Sam Corlett told us, and pour your heart into them. Don’t be uninteresting. Having such binary focuses in life will burn you out, and you’ll find that within these passions, you’ll find things to inform many other aspects of your life. It’s a circular thing.
6. Take care of your body
It’s easy to think you’re indestructible in youth. But every knee crack, and second spent trying to haul yourself up from a couch in your old age, will remind you that your body is the only thing you’ve got. Looking after yourself is a prerequisite for looking after others. Exercise frequently, look after your intake—one doughnut won’t kill you—but keep an eye on what’s going in.
7. Drink better
We drink a lot in Australia. It’s part of the culture. Things are shifting, non-alcoholic beverages are on the rise, and people are overall drinking less. But use this as an excuse to drink better. Support a local winemaker. Buy the spirit from the warehouse distiller in your neighbourhood. Drinking is a democratic pursuit, so be democratic about it. If the extra $10, $15 goes to helping a business here in the country, that’s something worth drinking to. And if you do want to go sober, go for it and treat anyone else who does with respect.
8. Know how to give an apology, and how to receive one
You’re going to fuck it up at some point in your life. Learn how to take responsibility, and apologise to those affected by your mistake (hopefully, it won’t need to be plural). Accepting responsibility will help you learn, and in turn, help mend the bridge. But it’s not a one-way street, if you’ve been wronged, be understanding enough to respect another’s journey, and help them on their way. Grudges are unhealthy.
9. Listen to the people you have nothing in common with
There’s going to be people you disagree with. People whose opinions are so mind-bogglingly different to your own, you’ll wonder how we share the same planet. You don’t have to agree with them, but you should listen to them. Learn from disparate perspectives, and be empathetic to the problems of others. Ignorance nourishes division, don’t fall into the trap.
10. Always give a firm handshake
It’s a matter of respect. One of those really old-school traditions that has managed to stay true. It’s pretty simple, be firm without overt muscle. You’ll find the balance. A handshake can make or break your career.
11. Never be empty-handed
While you’re working on your handshake in one hand, make sure the other hand is carrying something. Ok, not always, but if you’ve been generously invited to spend time with another person, especially at their house, never arrive empty-handed. A bottle of wine might seem cliché, but it’s really the bare minimum. Be considerate. Oh, and if you’re thinking about flowers, send them before the event, or arrive with a vase for them. Nothing worse than adding to the stresses of a host by tasking them with finding a vase. Think about it!
12. Take on every opportunity presented to you
Don’t live a life of ‘what-ifs’. We’re reminded of an anecdote Hoa Xuande shared with us, that Robert Downey Jr. shared with him. ‘Take every opportunity that comes your way with an open mind’. Life’s not short, it’s literally the longest thing we do, so fill it every day with things of meaning, and take on the things presented to you. Change your mindset about things. Leave the “I can’t believe I have to do this” behind, and embrace a “I can’t believe I get to do this” attitude. One day they might dry up, and then you’ll be broke. Or worse, bored.
13. Savour the good times
Spend time hanging out with upbeat people, and do your best to steer clear of negative energy-sappers. Smell life’s many roses. Don’t live life through a viewfinder, see it unfiltered with your own eyes. Do a job you enjoy, then enjoy doing your job. Don’t count the hours, make the hours count. Give back: Money. Blood. Time. Time is precious but always make some for those you care about for they are more precious. Find a way to tell the people you love that you love them.
14. Make your bed
This might sound pedantic, but it’s more about the message. You’re going to need to do a lot of things every day, every week, every month, we can go on. Knock out that first little thing on the to-do list every morning, and get your bed in shape. Change the sheets frequently. Think about your space. Oh, and there’s nothing like coming home to a freshly made bed if your day has gone to hell in a handbasket.
15. Know when to put your phone away
As technology becomes more and more ingrained in our lives, work on knowing when to switch off. It’s easy to think of these devices as methods of connection, but they’re working in the opposite. Keep it in your pocket at dinner. Put it on silent. Leave it in the other room. Be present.
